this is fiction. all the dates are wrong. what if your life was actually postdated? by say 10 days, and you were totally unaware of this, until one groggy morning. would there be anything different with how the rest of your life would play out?? hell i'm just waking up, maybe this is a sad dream, waking into a sad reality.

hot. record breaking heat for this neck of the woods. i'm limp, like a soggy potato chip. i wobble around in my sticky rayon boxers, with a wet towel wrapped around my head. i puddle a little, everywhere i stand or sit still. so here i wade, slowly drowning, from neither the puddle, nor the heat.

there is a clock next to my head where i lay down for the day. it ticks, then talks, without ever saying much. i listen and watch the nights go by. the conversation is always the same.

the dull night, always collapsing in on itself, farts me into the air of another hazy morning. the day begins a struggle, and by noon time the battle succumbs. another day gone, lost to the boss.

at night, as things fall away from what could be a productive day, the hunger sets in, leaving me to weak to move while the darkness rolls onto my chest, then ticks, talks.

sometimes it's about playing ketchup... bleed a little, fake blood or maybe a self inflicted wound for dramatic purposes but the end result is the same, a time of reflection. a gaze across a shelled street, knowledge that, yes, things have been destroyed but out the rubble, new life awaits.

twenty. the big ones. twenty years from now this project will be complete. 56. the year 2024. its a long way off. but already i've got twenty under the belt.
on a side note, this was wierd. the camera focal plane was 36 inches from my eye. wierd huh.

i've been working on this new project 6x6 for a month now. only a few rolls into it, but moving forward. it feels great to finally be working on a new project. even better, one of three projects. for those of you who don't know, i am a photographer and have been making photographs for almost 20 years. this is my life— my end all. and this is how i do it.

i've had no energy today. from the moment i forced myself out of bed, until the moment my head hits the pillow, this day has been a drowsy drain. i feel weak and worthless. another cup of breaths, dissipated. the only clear focus, sleepytime. i cool down the noodle, rake the feet of dirt and collapse into another night gone.